Hey guys I'm gonna post the song lyrics on here just so we have it on hand. I also broke it up into paragraphs according to the different characters for clarity.
Cemetery Polka - Tom Waits
Uncle Vernon Uncle Vernon Independent as a Hog on ice He's a big shot down there At the slaughterhouse He plays accordion For Mr. Weiss
Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William Made a Million during World War II But they're tightwads And they're Cheap skates
And they'll never give a dime to you
Auntie Mame Has gone Insane She lives in The doorway of an old hotel And the Radio's playing opera and All she ever says Is go to Hell.
Uncle Violet Flew as pilot He said there Ain't no pretty Girls in France Now he runs a Tiny little Bookie joint they say He never Keeps it in his pants
Uncle Bill Will never leave a will And the tumor is as Big as an egg He has a mistress She's a Puerto Rican And I heard she has A wooden leg.
Uncle Phil Can't live without his pills He has emphysema and He's almost blind And we must find out Where the money is Get it now Before he loses his mind.